Blindsided

i am so lost
i have no idea what i want in life, i am living day by day, even wasting some days away. now i don’t know what i will do, leave, stay., i really have no clue, there is no one who can help me but me, and me is not doing to well,? i am depressed but i am happy, its like dire straits you know. uncertainty of thing and of things that will happen, i see everyone has a plan and i don’t have plans, its like i am wasting my time away but i don’t mind, i really wish i was a fish or some kind of bird, so i can swim or fly away into the unknown every single day.. my thoughts are all over the place, confusing and just lost. its deliciously complicated. its wanting what i have but not wanting what i have, its a confusing sensation that i feel every single moment of the day, every single second of my existence. And why? There is no answer, which means there shouldn’t even be a question. i am writing you because i feel in some way you understand me.... do u???
i hope your doing well. i am but i am lost, lost and in not the kind of way i like to be lost.
Ana
blindsided by Bon Iver